"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them"

It's been awhile since I've written, but I would like to believe that I've had quite a few adventures since my last post. This week is an interesting one for me as I embark on my final week of my college career. It's hard to believe that 3 1/2 years have gone by since I first started school.

As I reflect on my college experience, I find myself incredibly grateful. I am particularly grateful for this past year. I'm grateful for the wonderful people who have entered my life, I'm grateful for the experiences I've encountered, and most importantly I'm even appreciative for the lows I've had. This year has been beautiful, but I would be lying if I didn't say that there were a lot of ugly parts too. These not so pleasant parts of my year are the ones that I'm the most grateful for since they are the moments that have challenged me as a person and have evolved me into the person I am today.

I'm still not perfect, since none of us are, but I am strangely proud of myself for who I am, imperfections and all. As I start on this next chapter of my life, I have a burning excitement for all the changes that are to come as well as eager to meet the new people that will enter my life, for as I have learned with every new beginning there are new people waiting to become a part of your chapter. 

As I talked to my mom a few weeks ago about college in general, Ireland, and this past semester specifically, I know I have an excitement about the future, but also a sadness because within this change there is an acknowledgement that things will never be the same. My mom always with an answer for everything stated, "This was a point of your life that happened. That's right it happened. It was a moment in time, but you cannot cling to it since it is now part of your past. You just have to be grateful it happened". I kind of chuckled since her words are ironically similar to a statement made at the finale of the office--another show I have yet to completely watch. Andy stated, "I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them". I know I do not suffer from the same issue, because I knew this was going to be the best of times throughout the entire experience. 

"Throwing those damn notes away"

Funny enough, I thought I was done with this blog since I have now been home for almost two months. However, this past week I have been thinking about Ireland even more than I normally do. This blog was originally intended to share my adventures and photos with my family and friends, but along the way it became more. As much as my study abroad experience was about adventures and having a ton of craic, my time in Ireland also evolved into a time of personal growth. 

For some this fact is probably not shocking, since most people would change after spending 6 months away from home. I guess I was naive in the fact that it never even occurred to me that the Hannah boarding the plane in Boston would be different than the one who was waiting for her parents to pick her up at Logan--yes ladies and gentlemen my parents were late picking me up from the airport (my flight was early to be fair). 

When talking to other people about their abroad experience I always ask, "Do you feel different? Have you changed" Some do and some don't; one of my friends even replied "I didn't study abroad to change". Well, frankly neither did I. I thought I was just going to be a more cultured version of myself--which I am--but somehow it happened along the way. Whether it be the country itself, the people I met, or the times I may have lost my dignity as I was stumbling my way through this adventure, I know I am different and for someone who was afraid of change I am strangely okay with it all. 

Upon my return home, I found myself surrounded by family and friends who have known me for years. For some, I immediately connected back and it was as if no time had past. In other situations I came to the realization that I could not even remember why we were friends in the first place. I now find myself walking away from relationships and more significantly the plans I had made for myself. I've said this before, but I've always been a planner and I have always stuck to any of my relationships like hot glue. 

As I make these choices I think back to a conversation I had with my roommate Katie's friend, Jake. He said, "You know at the end of the term how you throw away all your notes from your classes? Well friends are like that too, you have a lot of great memories with them, but some of these people you have to leave behind. As we go through life, we pick a few to keep along the way and those are the people who end up staying in your life". 

I'm so sorry about this photo Katie and Jake, but I knew I was going to need it at some point! 

At the time, I had no idea what he was talking about. I never throw my notes away at the end of the term. In fact I keep them in my office at home and I have my notes from high school and college--don't judge me...I'm not a hoarder! 

Reflecting back, I now understand what he was talking about. You have to lose a few friends as you go through life since you hopefully are going to meet tons of people. Change is not necessarily a bad thing it just means that you've grown and most of the time you are better for it. 

I have since gone through all my binders and thrown away most of my notes from previous terms--definitely an improvement. 

Until tomorrow's adventure (or realization) 
Banana 

Apt. 12

I've been holding off on this post for a few reasons, but mostly because I've been in denial about this whole thing. A little over a week ago my roommates moved out. Less than 24 hours later, I moved across campus to a slum--just kidding! This past week has been a transition since I keep on thinking I'm going back to Apt 12 and I'm going to find Nicole dancing around, Steven making everyone tea, Bridget making chili, and John and Katie slagging the Americans. I still cannot believe the Spoon Squad has been disbanded, but with this transition time I've of course had a lot of time to reflect. 

It has become obvious to everyone that Ireland holds a special place for me and it is hard to verbalize why, but I think I said it best to my friend Morgan. It's just that none of this has felt temporary, Ireland feels like the first home that I have created for myself. Meaning there was no set group of friends or things to do; it was just me stumbling my way around Ireland. At the end of my freshman year, I left my dorm knowing that I wouldn't be back again and I didn't care. I was gone. I didn't realize until recently, how significant this was. I am a relationship person and when I say that I mean everyone in my life is there for a reason and I care about my friends...a lot.

Over one of my many breakfast convos with my roommate Bridge, she started laughing at me. I exclaimed, 'What is so funny?'. She replied you are going to be so sad when we leave. I thought to myself of course I am! I loved all of them--and still do. I asked why this was strange and her response was so simple, 'Because most people don't. Most people don't care at all'. This statement is so profound to me because I never thought that was my unique trait and yet, it was so obvious. Some people are so willing to leave others behind and they feel no sense of loss at the relationships they left behind. There is nothing wrong with that, but I never realized how different this practice was from my own until I was sitting at our breakfast table.

The conversation of course drifted to goodbyes since our goodbyes were quickly approaching. Bridge admitted she sucked at farewells and I completely agree goodbyes are no fun, but I believe if we have the opportunity to say goodbye we should take the opportunity since so often in life we are not given the chance. 
Goodbyes can be sad and emotional especially when you really are not sure when you are going to see the person again. But this is why I refuse to say goodbye, they are my "see ya laters" since I believe our paths will cross again. My "see ya laters" to my roommates happened at 7:30 in the morning after an hour of sleep, when we were all still a little out of it from the night before.

It was not an ideal goodbye, but as Bridge left she handed me a letter and I was told to read it later. I then went to bed, slept for an hour and immediately when I awoke I read the letter. This was Bridget's best version of a goodbye and it turns out she is the best at saying goodbye.

After reading the letter, I walked out of my room and realized I was the only American left in the apartment and I just felt a longing for the beginning of the semester. When we were just beginning our study abroad experience. When I moved in, I had no idea how close I would become with these strangers. I had no clue we would face Coppers together--and eventually face it on our own without the help of John's friends, we would laugh, almost burn down the kitchen, steal shopping carts, create a RIP list of everyone who is dead to us--I know this is messed up, but just go with it--and also grow and mature together.

When my family told me I had changed since I had left home. I said absolutely not. I'm the same me. Now, a little less than 5 months later I recognize that I am different. I typically shy away from change; it frightens me because I often want things to stay frozen in place. But all of a sudden, I looked around and I realized that I am not the same person that got on the plane at Logan and that's okay. I wish I could identify the exact moment I changed or even say how I changed, but I think it began the night before my first day of classes. It was 10:30 so I was about to go to bed...it was a school night, but then I heard laughter. I thought to myself well shit, all of my roommates are now buddies and here I am in my room. I had two options I could follow my schedule and go to bed or I could go out there and check what was going on. I chose the latter. I was wearing my fish pajamas when I joined the group in the kitchen and they were all playing spoons. I joined the game and we stayed up until 3 am playing and I absolutely loved it (no 'ragrets' as they say).

This is my thank you to the Spoon Squad (Katie, John, Nicole, Bridget, and Steven) for putting up with me for the entire semester. Thank you for letting me listen to Wannabe on repeat, helping me through all my "crises", for not giving me such a hard time about the Cocoa Brown, and for teaching me quite a few lessons that I will not forgot.

Until tomorrow's adventure,
Hannah

"Time to show the nation my appreciation"-- or just Julie

I've always been a planner. I've always been 5 steps ahead in my head and I had an idea for how exactly I wanted to get to that 5th step. The funny thing is that plans have a habit of not working out. The past two weeks for me have been a perfect example of this.

One thing I didn't expect to happen to me while I was abroad was to get sick. I don't mean sick like I have a cough, but sick as in I casually looked like death for a few days. I found myself scared and even more so, I found myself not even having the energy to be scared. For the first time since being in Ireland, I found myself aching to be home.

But with everything that has happened to me while abroad, a lesson was in store. Fortunately I learned the power of having family in Ireland, and also becoming comfortable with plans changing and really having to be okay with that.

These two weeks I  lost were also the final weeks I had my freedom in Ireland since it was before my internship started and exams. I had BIG plans in my head, and most importantly, my favorite person on the planet was coming to visit me--my brother.

While I was sick, those plans quickly changed and I found myself limited. If you know me, and if you know me in Ireland, I do not like to slow down or stop. I want to see, explore, talk, and make as many memories as I possibly can. This situation was difficult for me, but not being the type to sulk I decided to adjust accordingly. My brother's visit did not go how I envisioned, but really when does anything? We still made some memories, took photos (Dave I'm waiting on those), he slayed Dublin and fell in love with the city which was my goal anyways--I guess the city didn't need my help.

The point is that from being sick I learned the significance of really living in the present, since we do not know what is in store for us just around the corner. Most importantly, I realized there was no need to fly home to seek refuge from my Moms in the states (my real mom and Auntie) because I have my very own Irish Mom here, and her name is Julie.

This is my thank you to Julie, Sean, and Elizabeth for taking care of this mess of an American girl for the past week and a half. I have never known anyone--except my mom and Auntie--to take care of me the way you all did.  I didn't know the true beauty of family until Julie was with me in the emergency room and making fun of me just as my mom would when I was strung out on painkillers. There are no words for how thankful I am to you all. So I'll just put it simply...thank you.

I apologize for the lack of photos in this post, but no photos are allowed to be taken in the hospital...just kidding! Those photos are just for personal records. I do have a photo of the day when I hosted myself a normal person dinner to honor me being a fully functioning person, and I was literally swinging from the ceiling.

XOXO
Hannah

Time for Reflection

This past week marked the half way point of my program, and to say that feels surreal is an understatement. In the past week, I've had to do a lot of reflection as I prepared for my meeting with my BU advisor and started to work on creating a symbol meant to represent my study abroad experience. It is odd to think that I am reflecting on an experience that is ongoing, especially since I believe the best is yet to come. Katie, my roommate (and also my "mum"), was helping me brainstorm symbols and she pointed out that my experience has really been about exploration, but also largely shaped by the people that I have met.

I could not agree more. I believe that everyone's abroad experience is unique, but I think one thing that study abroad students struggle with is really integrating themselves into the country where we are living. I think we get caught up in running off to the next country and planning our next weekend trip that we forget to slow it down. We forgot to really get to know the country we are studying abroad in.

This is where my study abroad experience is unique, because some of my closest friends here are Irish students. I have been fortunate to meet and get to know locals and students that come from all different parts of Ireland.

 

I'm not going to say it was easy; I will be the first to admit that I was called the Yank Mate a few times, but creating these relationships has made my experience a million times better. Before studying abroad, I viewed relationships as only valuable if they were long-term. I see now that relationships are meaningful and significant no matter how long the duration, but I would like to believe the friendships I have developed here will last a lifetime.

When I think about leaving Ireland--and I know Mom and Dad that I do have to come home in August--I know that it will feel like I'm leaving a part of my heart behind. That sounds dramatic, but this country has stolen a part of me. I never understood when people said they felt connected to a place until now. This island has mystified me and is a place that will always feel like home, as Ireland provides me with a feeling that only home can give.

I'm just going to take a second to give a shout out to my favorite Irish people. Thank you Emily for checking in on me after the Brussels attack. It was so thoughtful and you quickly became one of my favorite Irish people. Thank you John and Katie for being the best study abroad parents a girl could ask for, and for putting up with your 'daughter' even when I am running around like I have my head chopped off.  Keith, you asked for a shout out so here it is! Thank you for being a good friend and for picking me as your favorite American--that better be true.

Until tomorrow's adventure,
Hannah

Leaving the Republic for the Day

Depending on how knowledgeable you are on Irish history, you may be surprised to discover that Ireland is actually is two different countries. There is Southern Ireland which is just the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland. Northern Ireland is part of the United Kingdom.

We took a day trip to Northern Ireland, which included a stop at some of the Game of Throne (GOT) sights. I actually do not watch GOT so that was not the most exciting part of the day trip.

Our first main stop was the Carrick-a-Rede Rope Bridge in County Antrim.

County Antrim easily became one of my favorite places, because of the views. I fortunately, do not have a fear of heights. If I did, this probably would have been a difficult day.

Another key part about this day trip is that I managed to not look like Cousin It in any of the pictures. This was a huge accomplishment for me.

Literally a 10 minute drive from the bridge, is the Giant Causeway. At this point in time, Sydney decided to confess a secret. She announced, "Patterns are disgusting. Like you know, honeycombs those freak me out and make me want to vomit". Well, since we were at the Giant Causeway there were some patterns so she was struggling, but was always a good sport about it.

 

Until tomorrow's adventure,

Hannah



"Barcelona, I still long to hold her once more" -Play on Repeat

The title of this blog post is completely inappropriate, but also very fitting since it is from George Ezra's song Barcelona. I am going to be embarrassingly honest, and admit that I had this song playing on repeat the entire time I was in Barcelona.

Barcelona was a special trip because I was meeting up with my friends Rachel and Mackenzie. The plan was for us to meet in the airport since our flights landed within an hour of each other. Ryan Air had a different plan for me since after we boarded the plane, we had to actually switch planes. This resulted in a two hour delay. With no way of telling Rachel and Mackenzie, I was not sure what to expect when I got off the plane in Barcelona.

If you have ever seen the movie Love Actually, you know airports can be an emotional place. Well, I have never been so happy in an airport, when I saw Mackenzie waiting at the gate for me. My reaction included me running to her as if we were long lost friends and me screaming, "Macadamia!". It was dramatic in all of its glory and I can now say I have experienced an "airplane scene" firsthand.

Despite the bumpy start we were able to have a fantastic dinner that of course included paella. 

  I'm a firm believer that the best way to see any city is by foot. So our first night, Mackenzie and I walked around after dinner for hours. Immediately, I knew I was going to like it there.

The following morning, we headed to the beach. The beach is my favorite place in the world, any beach really. I love the feeling of the sand on my feet, and I always have to put my feet in the water. It's something about it that really just makes me beyond happy.

Something that is also awesome about traveling with Mackenzie is the fact that she is a wizard, genie, or some type of magical being with languages. When we went to Italy in high school, she saved me on more occasions than I would like to admit. Traveling with her in Spain was equally comforting.

When you go to Barcelona there are two things that everyone will tell you to go see: Sagrada Familia and Park Guell. Sagrada Familia is a famous church that has the most amazing architecture.

Architects around the world will probably scream that I said this, but if you have ever seen Spy Kids, you know the castle in the movie. The Sagrada Familia kind of reminds me of that, except it is much better.

While we were walking through the church, Mackenzie turns to me and states, "It is places like this that really make me want to be religious". I was thinking that is probably the case for everyone, and while abroad--especially in Europe--you will find yourself walking through churches everywhere you go.

Our next stop was Park Guell, and think of it as a park that was accidently themed as Candy Land. I say that because the mosaic tiles and the structures really do remind me of the board game.

The park provides you with a view of the entire city.

Going into the weekend, I was mostly excited about the food. I was having dreams about paella, seafood, and of course tapas! Barcelona did not disappoint.

 

During my final full day, I finally got to see Barcelona in all of its glory, since the sun was actually shining.

 

 

 

I also realized how hard it is to take a picture in front of the Arc de Triomf without having an awkward tourist behind you--I mean look at the woman to the left of me. Well, I am going to be realistic, and assume that I am probably the awkward tourist in a lot of photos. 

 

We ended the day at my favorite place...the beach.

 

 

Until tomorrow's adventure,

Hannah  

 



Cork was Popping (note pun)

So, I have completely failed you. I have been absolutely horrible at updating the blog, but I am making a commitment right now. If you are wondering what I have been up to for the past month you are about to find out. It all goes back to Cork.

Cork is one of those places that if you are in Ireland, you will probably think of going. They have the Blarney Stone and it is another major city. Our trip started off at 6am when we left campus to go meet our tour bus.

Immediately, we were off to an interesting start as our driver began to sing all the classic songs like Molly Malone and also a few fan favorites such as "Don't go chasing leprechauns"--if you don't know that one refer to the song "Waterfalls".

Our first stop was the Rock of Cashel which includes the ruins of a castle--of course.

Later that day, we made it to Blarney Castle where if you kiss the Blarney Stone, you are given the gift of eloquence.

My friend Morgan as we were making our way up the castle turns towards us and announces, "I'm actually afraid of heights". This was not the ideal time to make this announcement, but we survived with a few deep breathing exercises.

We eventually made it to the actual stone, and I kissed it first. I was not sure how far down the stone was so I was a little slow making my way to the stone. The guy kept on saying keep it coming, keep it coming, and finally I had my chance to kiss the stone.

Morgan is absolutely going to kill me for telling this part of the trip, but I am going to go for it anyways. When it came time for her turn, she put her head back and immediately popped right back up exclaiming, "I can't do this". The older man was like of course you can, but it was no use...Morgan was already scurrying away.

Blarney Castle is definitely worth seeing since there is a large outdoor area that you can walk around and see unique things like a witch's kitchen.

When I look back at the weekend in Cork, I realize it is probably one of my favorite weekends since I have been abroad. It was still early on in the program, but it felt like everything was falling into place. The picture above features the fantastic four (Morgan, me, Emma, and Sydney). We call ourselves that because we really are the best travel companions.

While abroad, you are bound to make new friends...or if you don't you should probably think about what you are doing wrong. Anyways, soon you find yourself--or at least I did--with new friends that you feel like you have known your entire life. I think that is what traveling does to people; it brings you a lot closer in a much shorter amount of time.

As we eventually made our way to Cork City, I would like to say I fell in love immediately. I did not and the city actually reminded me a lot of everyone's Copenhagen pictures. Not necessarily this picture, but other parts of the city certainly looked like Copenhagen.

We actually had booked an airbnb in Cobh, which is outside of Cork City and was by far our best decision during this entire trip. Cobh is a cute beach town where everyone would definitely notice the 4 American girls walking around the town.

Cobh was also the last stop the Titanic took before hitting the iceberg so there is a small museum in town. After spending the night in Cobh, we headed back to Cork City and rang the Shandon Bells. The view from the top provides you a view of all of Cork City and definitely provides you with an "abroad moment".

Until tomorrow's adventure,
Hannah

"Ch, Ch, Changes"

Studying abroad makes everyone think and ponder over life a lot. You find yourself sitting on the bus, train, or airplane having these deep, almost "come to Jesus moments"--except you are not coming to Jesus you are just being very deep. I often think about who I am as a person and I will see something, whether it be a river, painting, a cliff, etc. and I look at it as if I am a seeing the sun shine for the first time. I cannot speak for everyone, but these are my study abroad moments where I am just silent for 5,10, even 15 minutes--and that's rare if you know me--because I am really just taking it all in and thinking "I'm here and this is amazing".

 I have gotten a few messages from family members being like you have changed since you've been abroad. When I read those messages, all I think is no I haven't...not even a little. The thing is everyone is a little different while abroad and that's because you have to be. There have been times during my travels where I was like if I was home, I would be totally freaking out. But here, I just take a deep breath and go with it.

 Sure, I could totally freak out about having to stay with two 40 year olds in a hostel, but really who would that help? I could totally freak out about how I jumped a fence, or how my friends and I were approached by two convicts in a pub and actually talked to them for over an hour, but freaking out is not helpful. It's actually the least helpful thing you can do.

 I think everyone I know has gone through something while abroad that would have normally sent them over the edge. Case A is my friend Rachel from home. She got BED BUGS in her apartment this past week! That's right folks the little ginger I was with in London, had to deal with bed bugs, and she still has all the bites to prove it. Home Rachel would have been on the next bus back and snuggled with her dog for the next 48 hours.

 But, we aren't home and there is no bus back. So what do we do, we cope and then we thrive. Plus, these crazy stories are the ones we end up telling everyone back at home, because everyone loves a ridiculous story (I don't want to talk to you if you don't love a ridiculous story).

 Okay, maybe you are wondering well it's kind of odd that you would not change at all while abroad. So maybe I lied a little bit...you do change. You become an insanely independent person and you get a severe case of FOMO (fear of missing out) because you want to have as many adventures as possible and collect as many ridiculous--and I hope dramatic--stories as possible. I do not think I would call that changing, but I would call it growing up.

Until tomorrow's adventure,
Hannah