"Throwing those damn notes away"

Funny enough, I thought I was done with this blog since I have now been home for almost two months. However, this past week I have been thinking about Ireland even more than I normally do. This blog was originally intended to share my adventures and photos with my family and friends, but along the way it became more. As much as my study abroad experience was about adventures and having a ton of craic, my time in Ireland also evolved into a time of personal growth. 

For some this fact is probably not shocking, since most people would change after spending 6 months away from home. I guess I was naive in the fact that it never even occurred to me that the Hannah boarding the plane in Boston would be different than the one who was waiting for her parents to pick her up at Logan--yes ladies and gentlemen my parents were late picking me up from the airport (my flight was early to be fair). 

When talking to other people about their abroad experience I always ask, "Do you feel different? Have you changed" Some do and some don't; one of my friends even replied "I didn't study abroad to change". Well, frankly neither did I. I thought I was just going to be a more cultured version of myself--which I am--but somehow it happened along the way. Whether it be the country itself, the people I met, or the times I may have lost my dignity as I was stumbling my way through this adventure, I know I am different and for someone who was afraid of change I am strangely okay with it all. 

Upon my return home, I found myself surrounded by family and friends who have known me for years. For some, I immediately connected back and it was as if no time had past. In other situations I came to the realization that I could not even remember why we were friends in the first place. I now find myself walking away from relationships and more significantly the plans I had made for myself. I've said this before, but I've always been a planner and I have always stuck to any of my relationships like hot glue. 

As I make these choices I think back to a conversation I had with my roommate Katie's friend, Jake. He said, "You know at the end of the term how you throw away all your notes from your classes? Well friends are like that too, you have a lot of great memories with them, but some of these people you have to leave behind. As we go through life, we pick a few to keep along the way and those are the people who end up staying in your life". 

I'm so sorry about this photo Katie and Jake, but I knew I was going to need it at some point! 

At the time, I had no idea what he was talking about. I never throw my notes away at the end of the term. In fact I keep them in my office at home and I have my notes from high school and college--don't judge me...I'm not a hoarder! 

Reflecting back, I now understand what he was talking about. You have to lose a few friends as you go through life since you hopefully are going to meet tons of people. Change is not necessarily a bad thing it just means that you've grown and most of the time you are better for it. 

I have since gone through all my binders and thrown away most of my notes from previous terms--definitely an improvement. 

Until tomorrow's adventure (or realization) 
Banana